I'm Growing

Ziggy started school this week.

I don't know who was happier, him or me. We got up very early on Monday. Dressed. Polo shirt always on the first day. That's how I do. We were heading to the car with his bag o' shit for the first day of school and I see a school bus heading down the street. Well, Ziggy isn't allowed to ride the bus, so I continued to load his bag o' shit, his brother and myself, into the little ass Camaro.

The bus turned around and stopped at our house asking if this was Ziggy. I said, "He doesn't ride the bus." They said, "We were told he was scheduled for our route." I said "He doesn't ride the bus." There was a brief stand off. Ziggy asked, "Mom. Can I ride the bus." I looked at his sweet face and said, " You don't ride the bus." No one spoke for a minute. Finally, Ziggy took one step, then two and he was climbing in. I told them, "I'll be at the school to get him off."

Get to the school, before the bus. Now My stomach hurts. He finally arrives, happy. I take him to his class where I am breaking in a new teacher. And new students. The class is a zoo. Kids having tantrums, crying, rolling on the floor. I'm thinking, "Nope. Gonna have to home school him." He slowly walks over to the toys and then goes and sits down. I was waiting for him to say, "This isn't for me mom." I was ready to scoop him up and take him away from there. But he didn't.

I get home from work, checking him for bite marks and what not and he kept telling me how much he likes the bus. I asked him about school, he says, "Can I ride the bus tomorrow?" I'm going back and forth, but finally decide to give it a week.

Tuesday, we get up at 725. Late as usual. Ziggy has brushed his teeth and that's all. I hear, BEEP BEEP! I look in the drive way. There's the damn bus. I fly down and say, "Here he comes!" I run back upstairs. I throw shorts and tshirt in the air, spin Ziggy around and dress him like Wonder Woman. Fly downstairs, throw all the clothes on the floor that are in the dryer, find two socks. He puts his shoes on. I throw on a long dress, pick his hair as he is walking up the drive way while applying lotion to his face. The bus driver is laughing, he says" Aw mom! Not the lotion on the face!" He jumps on the bus. The aid straps him in safely while I watch. I told them, "That's my whole world right there." The driver says, "We know. He's in good hands. We promise to keep him safe." I said, "That's best for all of our lives." I'm not talking about my violence. I'm referring to Ziggy's village. Oh, especially my dad. And Ziggy's dad. Makes me sweat to think about it.

So after 6 years of school, Ziggy is finally on the bus. This may be for a short time, or it may be all year. Not sure yet, but I am trying to loosen the umbilical cord that holds us together. Not cut it, never cut it, but a little loose, I can do.